Venture through the world of an Aspie writer and witness his insanity.
Author: Xander Bell (Christopher Wheat)
My real name is Christopher Wheat, Xander is my pen name. I really am an educator and writer. I do have Asperger's Syndrome. My goal is to establish a platform for the book I've written about the discrimination I faced at the hands of my former employer.
The full says to my title is – “The World only exists in your Eyes. You can make it as big or as small as you want.” I love this saying for really, anyone. Those of us with Asperger’s, this should be a great reminder of how our life needs to be! Yes, our view of the world is different than other people who don’t have our condition but, we shouldn’t be shunned or closed off because of our view of the world. We have our own freewill, do not let anyone else tell you other wise! Bullies favorite thing to do is to dictate how you need to see the world. This is that form of control that makes me angry at people who try to pull this stupid stunt. Growing up, I lived my life with one bully or another telling me, what I should do and how to do it. The only time you should ever listen to anyone about the view of the world are those people who deeply love you the way you are. What those people will do is, kind of like Aladdin, show you a new wonderful world of possibilities. That’s not pushing you down, that’s opening you up. That opening is healthy for all of us. My wife has been doing that with me and I’ve been so grateful for her love that she shows me.
Of course make the world the way you see it, there is nothing wrong with that. Just be willing to let loved ones open your mind to new experiences, places, things. Fear is going to be the one thing that is going to hold you back, that is what bullies use, don’t let it get the best of you. It’s YOUR life, not theirs so live it and let nothing hold you back!
Standing in a rather long line in Wal-Mart, I glanced over and saw the Time Magazine cover of the person of the year. The magazine had the young lady, Greta Thunberg from the country of Stockholm, Sweden as their person. The funny part was the people behind me started making comments about Time’s selection. “Greta?” they would question. “Who the hell is that?” They would examine the magazine a little more then respond, “Global warming?” to the people behind me this didn’t make sense, “How did a little girl get on the cover for not doin’ anything important?” they would then give their final judgment, “Time magazine had lost their minds.”
First what they didn’t understand was this ‘little girl’ was only 16 years old. Yes, she is known for her stand on global warming. She would stand outside of the parliament building with others protesting the climate. How important is she…well if you get the attention of the President of the United States, then you’ve done something, here’s Trump’s comment on Twitter:
Donald J. Trump@realDonaldTrumpSo ridiculous. Greta must work on her Anger Management problem, then go to a good old fashioned movie with a friend! Chill Greta, Chill!
Greta was asked to speak in front of the members of the United Nations. She’s been speaking in front of several different organizations including the Pope! One rather interesting feature about Greta is that she has Asperger’s. Her father wasn’t very supportive at first about his daughter’s activism but, he noticed that this was pulling her out of her depression. This is what she had to say about her autism: “It makes you different and makes you think differently,” she said. “Especially in a big crisis like this one [climate change], we need to think outside the box, we need to think outside our current system, we need people who think outside the box and who aren’t like everyone else.”
I’ll go onto Reddit and read the posts from the Asperger sub-Reddit with people divided on their own thoughts about this condition. I try to encourage those who are down about themselves when they shouldn’t be. I like to think that Greta is a great example of a person who is in the world public spotlight and just takes it in stride. You almost have to. Well, I say congratulations to the Person of the Year, Greta Thunberg. I hope not only does she continue her campaign with global warming but, also be another voice for those of us who have Asperger’s Syndrome.
The companion book to Weirdo is now available on most ebook and print book sites. This has a few of the students I remember during my time at Puzzle City Schools. This is a quick little read but, I wanted to give a shout out to these kids who I was fighting for.
I’ve finally published the first free book so I could have people swap out their emails for a free book – Problem – I’m having a hard time getting this set up without blowing the bank. As a teacher, we really don’t make a lot of money, so I’m doing my best with the very limited budget I get to work with. The great news is that I got the edits back from my editor with the main book I will be publishing here in the future. In the meantime, I’m trying to get the free book out so I can then tell everyone about the new book and when it’s ready to hit store shelves (so to speak). I even have a Companion book with the main book about ready as well so I’m nearly there. The early responses to the main book have been outstanding. I can’t wait to get this to print, but I want to make sure this book is completely clean and ready to go.
I’ll try to let everyone know if I’m finally able to get the email marketing thing together. The title of the free book is “Be An Autism Avenger”. It’s not on Kindle yet, but that will probably change soon. I apologize and I hope to get my act together soon! HERE’S THE LINK!!! Get the free book!https://claims.prolificworks.com/free/Y7vxrvzb
“Wisdom speaks the right words, at the right time, from the right person, in the right way.”
This was a quote that was used in a sermon at my church several Sunday’s ago. I think why I felt compelled to write about this is because it as a lot to say. It’s already known that many people with high functioning Asperger’s tend to show signs of high intelligence. I know this is not true for everyone, and remember we are not all savants. My age is pushing up there, but I believe my level of wisdom as increased as well. I will state that there might be a lot of smart people, but not all of them are wise. So enters my opening quote because there are several elements in play. If you read it correctly, the quote is describing words, time, person, and way. Not just any kind, but the ‘right’ kind. So the question is – What is right? Simply put, the right is anything that that offers sound, helpful information.
The information could be anything from an excellent suggestion of some course of action, an affirmation for encouragement, a reaffirming idea that you’re doing the right thing. It could be any number of good ideas or thoughts that would benefit you. There might even be a time when this actually happened. I imagine, there were times when it sounded good, but ended up being a terrible mistake. I believe the only way to know is your use of good judgement. You maybe right or maybe wrong. This has happened to me on a number of occasions. Right now, I’m learning the process of self-publishing and I’m trying to get as much information as I possibly can. Try to keep this in mind as you live your life. It never hurts to question any opinion or advice you might receive. I know I find myself doing this about every single day.
I learned something new after like my third trip to the hospital this year (2019), I suffer from panic attacks. I think what frustrated me the most was I visited at least 3 different doctors trying to figure out what was going on with me. My heart rate and pulse would climb. I would get tingling in my fingers. I would feel disoriented. A warm feeling would race up and down my body. I would feel nauseous. There was no trigger for these episodes I was having because they would happen at different times of the day and not on every day. This was driving nuts on what was going on. When I went into the hospital early in the year, I had several blood tests, a CT scan, a sonogram, a brain scan with a weird mesh head cap. When I finally left, they told me that my potassium level was low and I was ‘stressing out’. I had a colonoscopy done were they did find 4 polyps. I met with an endocrinologist, but everything came back fine. When I had my most recent attack and [I hope] my final trip to the hospital. The emergency room doctor and my wife told me straight out…you have panic attacks. I did feel rather stupid especially after I went home and looked up panic attacks on Web MD:
What Are Panic Attacks? It’s dramatic. Your heart begins to pound and you hyperventilate, sweat, and tremble. You fear you’re having a heart attack or something equally serious. Then, 10 minutes or so later, it’s gone.
What just happened?
You had a panic attack.
They’re fairly common, usually beginning between ages 15 and 25. If they keep coming back, you have a persistent fear of more attacks, or you change your behavior significantly because of them, you have something called panic disorder. Nearly one in 20 adults have it, and women are twice as likely as men to get it.
Many people with panic disorder relate an attack to what they were doing when it happened. They may think the restaurant, elevator, or classroom caused the attack. Then they’ll avoid those places. That may lead to something called agoraphobia — the fear of leaving home or being in public places.
What brings on panic attacks and panic disorder isn’t clear. Some researchers believe panic disorder may come from an oversensitivity to carbon dioxide, which makes your brain think you’re suffocating. There’s also an association between panic attacks and phobias, like school phobia or claustrophobia.
Some believe there are ties between panic attacks and:
Depression Alcohol abuse Cigarette smoking Suicide risk Seasonal affective disorder, a type of depression that happens in winter.
Panic disorder may start after:
A serious illness or accident
The death of a close friend
Separation from family
The birth of a baby
Attacks may come after the use of mind-altering drugs. Most often, however, they come “out of the blue.” One may even begin while you’re sleeping.
Some medications can cause panic attacks, including some antidepressants.
If you’re 40 or older and have panic disorder, you may have depression or another hidden medical condition. Talk to your doctor to find out what’s going on.
Usually, a panic attack comes with a few of these:
A sense of approaching danger
Quick, intense, heartbeat
Cramps in your belly
Numbness or tingling
Shortness of breath
A feeling that you’re apart from reality
If you feel like you’re having a panic attack, see you doctor right away. While they are not dangerous, they can get worse without treatment.
Symptoms of a panic attack are similar to those for more serious conditions. If you’re not sure if what you’re having is a panic attack, call your doctor, just to be safe.
There is a wonderful article in Psychology Today that is written by John Elder Robinson. In his article, he puts a slightly different perspective on labels for our neurological condition. John offers the idea that instead of being labelled with autism or ADHD that we could be a community of Neurodiversity people. I will say that he does point out how diversity is good and bad. To me, I guess it depends on what do you want? To say that I have Asperger’s Syndrome was good because the diagnose finally explained why I was acting the way I was and why I had trouble in all parts of my life. Just for myself, I don’t ‘feel’ alone in my condition. I know I have it and I do my best to live my life being more aware of this diagnose. I like to help other people who are going through the issues I had, but I don’t feel the need to be a part of this ‘Neurodiversity’ community. I just want to be a part of a community with people of all sorts of things they may be dealing with. I realize when or if people find out I have this condition one of a few things tend to happen. 1. They don’t believe I am autistic. 2. They notice my quirkiness and try to stay away from me. 3. They except the difference and try to help if there was something I might have done and let me know about it.
I know to feel accepted, we want to compartmentalize ourselves to give us an identity. I remember back in high school; kids would always try to do this even if we didn’t agree with the label. The jock, nerds, art crew, the goths, losers, bad boys-girls, etc. If you feel like putting yourself into a category, then go right ahead. I guess you have to ask what do want if you place yourself in this position? I realize this is a little cliché, but variety is the spice of life. For me, I try to help folks because growing up with this condition, but never really knowing what was going on, why was I bullied a lot? I believe the article is really compelling and thought provoking. I say you be you. Embrace what God has created in you. I invite you to join the Human Race, it’s an interesting club.
I completely realize that June is the official month of PTSD awareness and PRIDE celebration. I’m glad to see that these two important things in our society are getting their just dues. I’m not here to knock the PRIDE people or the PTSD folks, my beef is with my own cause…Autism. We’re now more than half way through the month and this really feels like a TRUE month long party or ‘active’ educating the public on these causes. So my question is…what the hell happened to Autism Awareness month back in April?!!!!! I’ve noticed each year, this gets less and less attention. The month starts out great with the international day of autism, but after that the flame goes out and the meager smoke snakes its way in the air. It’s not like we have just have a few organizations. Unless there is a renewed story line about the absurdity of immunizations causing autism in children again, we get put back on the shelf until next year.
If we really want to change and create a stronger voice then we need to look at the Pride folks. I have to give them all the credit in the world, they know how to get a message across and hold it all the way through the entire month! They have parades, guest speakers, news stories with educational material, flags, and lots of merchandise. Twitter, Facebook, Instagram and many other social media sites pour out all kinds of Pride and PTSD information and affirmations. The bottom line is we need to do better. I’m not sure if we’re fighting hard enough or many in main stream media tend to ignore us after awhile. Are we afraid to come out of our own closet? Listen, the bullying at work or anywhere else will not stop until people understand our condition. The public needs to be educated on us and our disability. I just feel like our cause has lost a lot of its steam. The only thing that seems to stick out are charitable run/walkathons for autism. That’s great we do this, but it just doesn’t seem enough. Again, I believe we need to steal a page from the Pride group and fly those flags, have all of that memorabilia stuff on, have those parades; get famous people who have our condition to step forward and talk to the people like the Temple Grandin’s, Darryl Hannah’s, Dan Aykroyd’s! We’re getting a bad wrap and our situation is getting worse. Health care, Life Insurance, the Job Market, are just a few examples were we are losing the battle. We need to better plan and execute OUR time of the month!
Has you’ve already read, I’m on the Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD). On social media sites like Facebook and Twitter, not only am I a part of these sites, but I also join groups that deal with autism and I am friends with people who are either on the spectrum themselves or the parents of children with this disability. Because I have to keep my true identity to myself for legal reasons, I’m having a hard time deciding how to respond to these people who are desperate for answers. There is some information I know that might help and I could give my real life examples as to why I tell them these things, but I don’t want to compromise everything I’m working for with my book. So I will share an actual experience I had to help anyone with a low-functioning autistic child.
So I’ve decided to give some rather helpful advice on my blog without trying to disclose my personal information. One of the main things I read from people are the parents who are dealing with a child that is lower functioning. To any parent who has a low functioning child on the spectrum is if their brain has not fully developed yet; meaning a female tends to fully develop by 21 and a male by 25, then there might be an answer. This is NOT a cure because, as of yet, there is no cure for a neurological brain disorder, but there is a medication that might help. First, I need to let you know that I’m not a doctor or a pharmaceutical rep, I’m a Special Education Teacher and I know as a witness what this medication did for my child. The medication is called Namenda (Brand Name) or memantine. If you look this up, you’re going to find a lot of information with this medication for patients of Alzheimers. The drug is to help people with memory issues which would be your neurotransmitters and the like. When my child was born, doctors told us that you will have to take care of your child for the rest of your life because she is low functioning. However, another doctor was doing a study on the use of Namenda for children that are on the lower end of the spectrum.
Our child was one of those selected back in the 90’s. So we decided to give the medicine a chance and though it took a few years, we started noticing an increase in activity in our child. So much so that her NEW diagnoses changed from a lower functioning to a higher functioning autism. The medication worked. She had started taking the medication at age 6 and kept taking the medication for 7 years. This was finally stopped because our daughter had made such huge strides that she didn’t need the medicine any more. You must have 3 members on your team to make this work – 1. A Child Psychiatrist who understands autism 2. A Child Psychologist who understands autism and 3. A Pediatrician who understands autism. YOU MUST TALK TO THE TEAM OF DOCTORS BEFORE TAKING ON ANY MEDICATION!!! Remember that boys and girls on the spectrum are not the same! The symptoms are not all the same for each gender. We still have our rough days with our daughter, but she has graduated high school and college! Do your homework…check this out for yourself.
This site forms part of So, You’re Autistic (SYA)? at the University of Kent, a support programme teaching those with a diagnosis, awaiting a diagnosis, or self-diagnosed HOW to be autistic – to understand what being autistic means for YOU. We at SYA? are also consultants delivering workshops on autistic experience, neurodiversity, & stigma-reduction