Elevating to a New level

As I was looking at my Facebook posts, there was a certain post that got my attention. This made me feel frustrated and angry at the same time. The story was one I’ve read countless times. It’s the story of their young child who was diagnosed very early in their development. The parent is concerned that their kid will never talk to them or do anything else because the child was labelled as lower functioning autism. As I read the testimony, I knew a good, sound, possible answer that might change her child’s condition for the better. I even wrote a blog entry on the very answer that would really would have made a huge difference. So with this…I’ve made a decision – I’m looking to either create YouTube or a Podcast.

One of my biggest frustrations has been that no one seems to be listening. When I got on to Reddit, it was no different. They wanted to bitch about their problems in dealing with autism/asperger’s but, they didn’t want a real answer that maybe life changing. I was even suspended from the damn media page because I was using my book as a device to help people deal with their situation! So I happen to catch a youtube video of Dale Roberts and Julie the book broad talking about the impact of visual/audio communication to a reading audience. So that was when I decided I’m going to do that!!! I’m not sure which one I will pursue yet but, IT WILL HAPPEN and I will let everyone know who reads this blog. https://youtu.be/ncLA1VnYZWo I’ve attached the video if you want to see it.

Rise Up!

Ever since I was introduced to the social website ‘Reddit’, this has opened my eyes to things that I knew were true but, actually reading it in the website just confirms my belief in those of us who are diagnosed as autistic. Those of us on the spectrum already have to deal with difficulty of living an every day life let alone, having other people piling on the problems we try to avoid. One of my main rallying cries for all of us on the spectrum has been the abuse we take from our own employers. We’re not talking about the customers here, I’ve referring to our co-workers. This may not apply to everyone with autism but, many of us grew up being teased and bullied with no reason why. If we had some true physical deformity then I would understand the cruel teasing these people get but, if we look like everyone else in appearance without saying anything, most wouldn’t think much about it – that’s not the case. After turning 50, I have had enough. Let me share with you some comments that are being made on Reddit about job abuse because of our disability. I elected to remove the names of these people for their own personal privacy.

14 hours ago

I’m pretty sure I just lost my job because “I don’t show enough initiative”, but do my job properly and the way I’m supposed to.

So, I’m diagnosed with ASD and like many of us do, I too have problems with human interactions, but I try my best.. I work at a warehouse where I put together orders and ship them out (underwear & socks). I’ve been working there since January 13th and have done everything I was supposed to, the only thing I don’t do is “interact” with my coworkers a lot because I don’t know what to talk about .. I do however answer their questions and talk to them when I’m being talked to so I’m not impolite in that way.

Today, a coworker wanted to talk to me and said that I’m not showing enough initiative and therefor I’m not exactly a “fit” for that job.. apparently I don’t offer enough help when I should and so on.. (mind you, I do my daily orders, then prepare for the next day – our day ends at 4:30pm and I usually finish putting together tomorrows orders by 4:15pm) … I’ve done exactly what I’ve been told, I’ve helped out, I’ve offered help, but have always been told they don’t need it.

What irritates me the most is that when I put together my next days orders… they’re watching sports on one of the computers in the office or doing crosswords, sudokus – basically just sitting there, doing nothing.

I might not be the most talkative person and not the most “fun” person to be around, but I do my job the way I’m supposed to and have only needed help once because of the holidays and the amount of orders I had (needed help with 5 small orders, but did 32 myself).

I basically hate myself right now, I hate the diagnosis.. I hate my life and I hate ASD and I hate the day I started that job, especially because I LEFT my last job for that one.

UPDATE: I lost my job, I’m being compensated for 2 weeks, but apparently my boss believed my coworkers over me and when I politely tried to stand up for myself (in a very polite, calm manner) I was told I’m being rude and going against their values… our boss isn’t the kind of person you can reason with so I just agreed with the compensation. Tomorrow’s gonna be fun (last day), considering not speaking to my coworkers at all, while I’m there.

Thanks, this means a lot to me.. I did have a moment where I felt like it was my fault, but after I spoke to my boss I realised that this thing was doomed from the start. I think it’s more personal the more I think about it.. they never even seemed like they needed help as they sat in the office more than I had the chance to, watched sports on the tv while I was preparing for the next day and finished up 15 min before the day was done, they were solving crosswords and sudoku and somehow me not showing enough initiative turned out to be a problem. I’ve accepted that loss and I’ll just try to find a job that’s better suited for my character next time.

12 points·9 hours ago

Thank you, Idk why they didn’t go about it the right way. We don’t have a manager per say, we have a “boss” who’s also the owner of the company and my coworker lied about how my boss isn’t happy with me either and has been monitoring the cameras and has noticed that I’m not helping enough.. what a load of bs.

21 points·9 hours ago·edited 9 hours ago

Oh, I feel sorry for you and I know how it feels, because this happened to me with the only job I ever had thus far.

I was working at a call centre asking people to take part in surveys. I was appalled just how much typos I saw in the questionnaires and manuals and how illogical the questions were. Anyway, I did my job, even if I secretly dreamed no one would agree to answer those dumb questions. However, since I told my superior about the illogical questions (people I spoke to kept asking why am I asking those questions), she told me it’s not her fault and that ‘a team works on these questionnaires’ and so it is all verified and there cannot be any mistakes.

Eventually, some person I spoke to made fun of me, but I tried to wrench those answers from him anyway, because nobody agreed to talk to me. I was disciplined for that, since I put the company in disrepute by talking to him. I was then asked ten times in a row do I understand that it was not a good interview. When my superior told me the company values quality, I chuckled, and so she pressed me to tell whether I agree with that, but I just started speaking of those typos and illogical questions. That was that for the time, I was asked to present evidence, I did collect a lot of material, all the typos etc., but was afraid to tell her… I waited until I was asked to, but she never asked. At the time I didn’t understand, what have I done wrong.

Then one morning I was asked to talk to a head of department or something like that and I was once again asked again and again, didn’t I realise that man was mocking me. I had no idea what to say, because they kept asking again and again. Then I mentioned the typos and was told to do my job instead of being a know it all, basically. And then, since very few people consented to answer my questions (like, I talked to people in the middle of the day, who are working and asked them to take part in the survey that would take 15 minutes — why should they have agreed?) , I was told that I need Emotional Intelligence and to be talkative (I am not) and even though I asked, what did I do wrong, I was just told I should learn from others and I am making the climate in the workplace bad, that I had ‘a row’ with my superior (what isn’t true) and I lack the right attitude — after being basically bullied by them, I agreed to leave.

3 points·8 hours ago

Hey, I have been in almost this exact situation. I have never been able to play workplace social politics and it SUCKS. Especially in these kinds of jobs where workers are just seen as cogs in the machine, it often all depends on who likes who the most. I didn’t get fired, I actually quit on the spot because I was being jerked around so much. I was told that if I did x y and z I would be promoted to a certain position, only to come in and find the least competent employee promoted to that exact position because the owner liked her. My manager came up with some seriously BS reasons for why I wasn’t pulling my weight when in fact I worked twice as hard as anyone else there.

Basically, I’m willing to bet that these people are threatened by your competence. They see you as being aloof and trying to show them up. So they have to do things to bring you down to their level, including getting you fired.

For me, quitting was the best possible thing I could have done. I was in panic-mode for a while but in my next job, my boss actually appreciated my strong work ethic and encouraged me to do things on my own initiative. There were no social games. I was not expected to ‘participate’ in everything.

The most important thing for you to do is find a job where you are valued for who you are. Some people are going to value your skills and other people are not. You need to keep looking until you find the people who get you, because they ARE out there. Don’t feel like you have to be stuck with the status quo.

2 points·8 hours ago

I left my last job over something kind of similar. I’d been there for over a year and was next in line in seniority to take over the “Senior Staff” position when the old one left. Instead, they reached out to an employee who had quit a few months before and hired her back.

When they broke it to me, they said their reason was that I’m “too nervous” when talking to people (which has been a thing for me my whole life), even though they’d never once indicated it was a problem before that. I went home immediately that day so I didn’t have a meltdown and handed in my two weeks the day I returned. The employee they gave the position to ended up quitting again within like two months and I got a better job with much better hours and benefits.

I know it’s not exactly the same, but I guess my point is that it could open up the doors for a much better job for you that you’d be more comfortable at. I also think you’d have a very strong case for unemployment, so definitely look into that.

2 points·2 hours ago

Similar thing happened to me too, op.

I left a job that I had for two years to go work at another place. The new, “better” job was a disaster. It was a local small business, and it was single handedly the most disorganized place I’ve ever worked.

They had a whole long list of customers who supposedly hadn’t paid them, which they made me call almost daily to try and get payment. Well I had gotten through my list one day and there was no other work, so I decided to start organizing their filing cabinet. Lo and behold, I found receipts of payment from nearly half of the customers on their list – some from over a year prior.

After that, there was almost no work for me to do. I would get my duties done within my first hour or so of work, and then be sitting by myself at a desk in a supplies room for the other seven. I passed my time by browsing the internet and such, and other employees (whose jobs had absolutely NOTHING to do with mine btw) got mad/jealous and reported me.

I got fired after only two months of working there – for “being lazy”. All while the only other girl I worked with never got anything done, shopped for cars online all day, and would go on rides to “pick up lunch” while still on the clock. Her cousin was our manager though. 🙂

Anyways, I just basically wanted you to know that things will get better from here. It took me six months, but I finally found another job, and a way better one too. By a long shot. My year anniversary with this company is next week, and they could not be more amazing to work for.

I feel that you’re in store for something similar. My advice is to try not to take this to heart like I did. It sounds like we both just worked for idiots. I felt really bad about myself after my termination (still do sometimes), but I’ve been promoted twice already at my new job, and they encourage me every step of the way. I’m told constantly now that I’m a great worker, and that they appreciate me.

Things will be okay. You will find a company soon who truly values you and all of your strengths. Keep your head held high. 🙂

I apologize. I know that was quite a bit to read but the sad part is this only just a small tip of a huge iceberg that I feel isn’t being addressed. Some of the issues are that it’s tough to ‘prove’ their has been discrimination by the employer based on the disability. If there is proof, very few lawyers don’t like trying to take on these cases. We have a right to work a job, to live a life! Yes, I did write a book about my own experience that all of these other people went through themselves. My aim here is not to simply sell more books…my aim to get the word out!!! No one seems to want to listen to us! And others don’t believe this is really happening. I’ve decided to come up with a hashtag acronym that needs to be shared to as many social media networks as possible. FOR CRYING OUT LOUD, NEXT MONTH IS AUTISM AWARENESS MONTH AND NO ONE SEEMS TO BE PAYING ATTENTION!!!

#BACKSTABBullied Autistic Citizens Knowingly Seek Tolerance Amid Bosses.

I will tell you that my Weirdo 2.0 ebook will be on sale starting March 26th and wrapping up on April 2nd, just in time for World Autism Awareness Day. This will be available in US and UK. https://read.amazon.com/kp/embed?asin=B083G1P5B3&preview=newtab&linkCode=kpe&ref_=cm_sw_r_kb_dp_FBwCEb8A9MCWH&tag=mobile0663b9c-20

I will be happy to read any and everyone’s stories. If you want, I can organize everyone’s stories into a book with you getting complete credit for the material.

The World only exists in your Eyes…

The full says to my title is – “The World only exists in your Eyes. You can make it as big or as small as you want.” I love this saying for really, anyone. Those of us with Asperger’s, this should be a great reminder of how our life needs to be! Yes, our view of the world is different than other people who don’t have our condition but, we shouldn’t be shunned or closed off because of our view of the world. We have our own freewill, do not let anyone else tell you other wise! Bullies favorite thing to do is to dictate how you need to see the world. This is that form of control that makes me angry at people who try to pull this stupid stunt. Growing up, I lived my life with one bully or another telling me, what I should do and how to do it. The only time you should ever listen to anyone about the view of the world are those people who deeply love you the way you are. What those people will do is, kind of like Aladdin, show you a new wonderful world of possibilities. That’s not pushing you down, that’s opening you up. That opening is healthy for all of us. My wife has been doing that with me and I’ve been so grateful for her love that she shows me.

Of course make the world the way you see it, there is nothing wrong with that. Just be willing to let loved ones open your mind to new experiences, places, things. Fear is going to be the one thing that is going to hold you back, that is what bullies use, don’t let it get the best of you. It’s YOUR life, not theirs so live it and let nothing hold you back!

The most beautiful places in the world

Intelligence and Wisdom

“Wisdom speaks the right words, at the right time, from the right person, in the right way.”

This was a quote that was used in a sermon at my church several Sunday’s ago. I think why I felt compelled to write about this is because it as a lot to say. It’s already known that many people with high functioning Asperger’s tend to show signs of high intelligence. I know this is not true for everyone, and remember we are not all savants. My age is pushing up there, but I believe my level of wisdom as increased as well. I will state that there might be a lot of smart people, but not all of them are wise. So enters my opening quote because there are several elements in play. If you read it correctly, the quote is describing words, time, person, and way. Not just any kind, but the ‘right’ kind. So the question is – What is right? Simply put, the right is anything that that offers sound, helpful information.

The information could be anything from an excellent suggestion of some course of action, an affirmation for encouragement, a reaffirming idea that you’re doing the right thing. It could be any number of good ideas or thoughts that would benefit you. There might even be a time when this actually happened. I imagine, there were times when it sounded good, but ended up being a terrible mistake. I believe the only way to know is your use of good judgement. You maybe right or maybe wrong. This has happened to me on a number of occasions. Right now, I’m learning the process of self-publishing and I’m trying to get as much information as I possibly can. Try to keep this in mind as you live your life. It never hurts to question any opinion or advice you might receive. I know I find myself doing this about every single day.

Ceremonial Etiquette is DEAD

Obviously in the months of May and June, graduation celebrations are happening all over the United States. Thus the gathering of parents, family and friends congregate to show their support for that person or persons who be receiving their certificate they earned through the hard work in their particular school. Now, I will need to define my terms, ceremonial you all get as I just described but, Etiquette is defined by: (noun) “the customary code of polite behavior in society or among members of a particular profession or group.” [Dictionary.com] Having sat through a college and high school graduation this year [2019] my observations on this lost art will be grim.

Since I have Asperger’s I need you to note that I’m not fond of loud noises, having a routine, making sure everyone is doing the job they were assigned to do and large crowds. Witnessing the two celebrations, I can truly say that this lack of etiquette is not an economic status or a racial one; I believe this is due to lack of education. At this point, I can only speculate as to why we ended up with a full generation of people who have a lack of respect for those who are trying to run the ceremony. I am completely for cheering on your graduate when their name is called, but a prolonged screaming or chanting is just a little over the top. I’ve also noticed more people just shouting out the name of their graduate during a time of information or a certain speech that has nothing to do with the person. I find attending these functions to be more difficult every time. I really want to be there and support my graduate but, people standing up right in front of you to take a picture and stay standing or the random shouting is starting to take it’s toll on me. I find myself having to take medication just to keep my nerves in check because remember, it’s not just all of the annoying chatter, but there generally tend to be a lot of people stuffed into either an arena or an auditorium. I believe we’ve come to a point were people don’t care about the manner in which that behave. Maybe this is one those ‘entitlement’ things that they have a right to act like this even though every program I’ve ever read clearly states the proper behavior that needs to be followed. The root of the whole ceremony is respecting those who earned this moment. Not a time for people to try to steal away the graduates time to miss getting to hear their name called.

If It Looks like a Duck…

As an educator and having taught for a long time, we strive to help students understand the material that they need to learn. Of course, not all students learn the same way, in education we call this differentiated learning. Some students are visual, some are auditory and others are self read. Many students need the actually doing of, to grasp the understanding of a concept; hands on activities. Many times, there will be students who have a hard time learning the material like other students normally can. These, learning disabilities, are just a part of any teachers awareness for their students. As of late, I have felt that autism as been a little bit over diagnosed. Even though the student may have OCD or ADHD, this doesn’t qualify them as autistic. I can say though since I do have the actual diagnoses of Asperger’s Syndrome, it’s not too difficult for me to spot another person with the same disorder. There was a time when I had to have this talk with a parent about my concerns for their child because he had all of the calling cards for Asperger’s but, the father was refusing to get him tested. So, I turned to mom who had her suspicions but, she wasn’t too sure if she should have had her son tested or not. I told her she really needed to get him tested so he could receive the proper support he would need to be successful in school. I don’t know if she ever followed through but, I’d like to think she probably did. I’m noticing there really is a fine line between people who really are autistic and those who only have maybe one disability thus slapping the wrong label on the person to inflate numbers. Yes, there have been times when I had a student who was labelled autistic but, after hours of observation in the classroom I had some serious doubts about the diagnose. We really need to be careful.

Avengers and Asperger’s

I realize this might be a bit of an odd title but, I’ll explain what I mean and remember; this is an aspie talkin’ here. Back on May the 5th, I was shopping at Target and to my excitement, I found a fidget cube. Not just any cube but, a Spider-Man cube! I’ve seen the spinners and I thought those were pretty cool but, really impractical to me. The fidget cubes have been around however, they were rather expensive. I really liked the cube and knew it would be very useful to me since I feel like I need something in my hand all the time! Once I spotted the Spider-Man there was no turning back…plus it was rather inexpensive. Ironically, late that evening I had the chance to finally go see the movie Avengers: Endgame. When you grow up from a child to an adult and only getting to see DC comic heroes on the big screen with no Marvel in site, it was a bit depressing. Ever since Marvel finally came on like a massive bulldozer, they have just crushed the competition. So I’ll have to admit when I saw the first Avenger’s movie, I was prided up with joying knowing this was something I had wished to see when I was a kid.

Autism Awareness One Month Later

I realize that April was Autism Awareness month and right now as I write this…it’s May. The reason I waited is because during the month of April, there are several news stories and lots of media that surround our disorder but, then what? It’s not like I have Asperger’s for a month then it goes away! Don’t get me wrong, I’m very happy that there is an entire month dedicated to the awareness of Autism. I guess I wonder, once the lights have gone down and the press head off to the newer stories to be told…does anyone that doesn’t have this disorder care any more? For us, this will always be a constant battle on the idea of is anyone really aware? I try my best to self advocate for any reason, just to remind people that I’m a little off and I’m not like everyone else. I almost feel like I need to wear a reflective vest that says ‘Caution, I’m autistic.’ The problem is regular people treat other people like they are all the same. Unless the people visibly see that I might be in a wheelchair or missing an appendage, they don’t see the disability in me. Autism Awareness is really, an all year event. This is a battle myself and many others have to deal with every day.

Opening the gates to AsperWorld

In this blog, my goal is to address any concerns I receive from readers and/or talk about different thing that either directly or indirectly deal with my disorder. I welcome any comments or question you might have. I have finish one book as I’m currently writing this entry but, I’ve already started the early stages of a second book. There is so much literature out in our world about autism but, sadly some people miss the mark. I believe this happens because the people who are writing these things either think they know everything or do but, don’t have the disorder so they only go by observations on a few people. If you ask me what bothers me the most, it’s probably the people who think they have all the answers but, have no background to truly the right to say anything at all. Yes, I do disagree with some people who have the same condition I do but, this is just a matter of a different point of view. So welcome! Enter at your leisure.