Rise Up!

Ever since I was introduced to the social website ‘Reddit’, this has opened my eyes to things that I knew were true but, actually reading it in the website just confirms my belief in those of us who are diagnosed as autistic. Those of us on the spectrum already have to deal with difficulty of living an every day life let alone, having other people piling on the problems we try to avoid. One of my main rallying cries for all of us on the spectrum has been the abuse we take from our own employers. We’re not talking about the customers here, I’ve referring to our co-workers. This may not apply to everyone with autism but, many of us grew up being teased and bullied with no reason why. If we had some true physical deformity then I would understand the cruel teasing these people get but, if we look like everyone else in appearance without saying anything, most wouldn’t think much about it – that’s not the case. After turning 50, I have had enough. Let me share with you some comments that are being made on Reddit about job abuse because of our disability. I elected to remove the names of these people for their own personal privacy.

14 hours ago

I’m pretty sure I just lost my job because “I don’t show enough initiative”, but do my job properly and the way I’m supposed to.

So, I’m diagnosed with ASD and like many of us do, I too have problems with human interactions, but I try my best.. I work at a warehouse where I put together orders and ship them out (underwear & socks). I’ve been working there since January 13th and have done everything I was supposed to, the only thing I don’t do is “interact” with my coworkers a lot because I don’t know what to talk about .. I do however answer their questions and talk to them when I’m being talked to so I’m not impolite in that way.

Today, a coworker wanted to talk to me and said that I’m not showing enough initiative and therefor I’m not exactly a “fit” for that job.. apparently I don’t offer enough help when I should and so on.. (mind you, I do my daily orders, then prepare for the next day – our day ends at 4:30pm and I usually finish putting together tomorrows orders by 4:15pm) … I’ve done exactly what I’ve been told, I’ve helped out, I’ve offered help, but have always been told they don’t need it.

What irritates me the most is that when I put together my next days orders… they’re watching sports on one of the computers in the office or doing crosswords, sudokus – basically just sitting there, doing nothing.

I might not be the most talkative person and not the most “fun” person to be around, but I do my job the way I’m supposed to and have only needed help once because of the holidays and the amount of orders I had (needed help with 5 small orders, but did 32 myself).

I basically hate myself right now, I hate the diagnosis.. I hate my life and I hate ASD and I hate the day I started that job, especially because I LEFT my last job for that one.

UPDATE: I lost my job, I’m being compensated for 2 weeks, but apparently my boss believed my coworkers over me and when I politely tried to stand up for myself (in a very polite, calm manner) I was told I’m being rude and going against their values… our boss isn’t the kind of person you can reason with so I just agreed with the compensation. Tomorrow’s gonna be fun (last day), considering not speaking to my coworkers at all, while I’m there.

Thanks, this means a lot to me.. I did have a moment where I felt like it was my fault, but after I spoke to my boss I realised that this thing was doomed from the start. I think it’s more personal the more I think about it.. they never even seemed like they needed help as they sat in the office more than I had the chance to, watched sports on the tv while I was preparing for the next day and finished up 15 min before the day was done, they were solving crosswords and sudoku and somehow me not showing enough initiative turned out to be a problem. I’ve accepted that loss and I’ll just try to find a job that’s better suited for my character next time.

12 points·9 hours ago

Thank you, Idk why they didn’t go about it the right way. We don’t have a manager per say, we have a “boss” who’s also the owner of the company and my coworker lied about how my boss isn’t happy with me either and has been monitoring the cameras and has noticed that I’m not helping enough.. what a load of bs.

21 points·9 hours ago·edited 9 hours ago

Oh, I feel sorry for you and I know how it feels, because this happened to me with the only job I ever had thus far.

I was working at a call centre asking people to take part in surveys. I was appalled just how much typos I saw in the questionnaires and manuals and how illogical the questions were. Anyway, I did my job, even if I secretly dreamed no one would agree to answer those dumb questions. However, since I told my superior about the illogical questions (people I spoke to kept asking why am I asking those questions), she told me it’s not her fault and that ‘a team works on these questionnaires’ and so it is all verified and there cannot be any mistakes.

Eventually, some person I spoke to made fun of me, but I tried to wrench those answers from him anyway, because nobody agreed to talk to me. I was disciplined for that, since I put the company in disrepute by talking to him. I was then asked ten times in a row do I understand that it was not a good interview. When my superior told me the company values quality, I chuckled, and so she pressed me to tell whether I agree with that, but I just started speaking of those typos and illogical questions. That was that for the time, I was asked to present evidence, I did collect a lot of material, all the typos etc., but was afraid to tell her… I waited until I was asked to, but she never asked. At the time I didn’t understand, what have I done wrong.

Then one morning I was asked to talk to a head of department or something like that and I was once again asked again and again, didn’t I realise that man was mocking me. I had no idea what to say, because they kept asking again and again. Then I mentioned the typos and was told to do my job instead of being a know it all, basically. And then, since very few people consented to answer my questions (like, I talked to people in the middle of the day, who are working and asked them to take part in the survey that would take 15 minutes — why should they have agreed?) , I was told that I need Emotional Intelligence and to be talkative (I am not) and even though I asked, what did I do wrong, I was just told I should learn from others and I am making the climate in the workplace bad, that I had ‘a row’ with my superior (what isn’t true) and I lack the right attitude — after being basically bullied by them, I agreed to leave.

3 points·8 hours ago

Hey, I have been in almost this exact situation. I have never been able to play workplace social politics and it SUCKS. Especially in these kinds of jobs where workers are just seen as cogs in the machine, it often all depends on who likes who the most. I didn’t get fired, I actually quit on the spot because I was being jerked around so much. I was told that if I did x y and z I would be promoted to a certain position, only to come in and find the least competent employee promoted to that exact position because the owner liked her. My manager came up with some seriously BS reasons for why I wasn’t pulling my weight when in fact I worked twice as hard as anyone else there.

Basically, I’m willing to bet that these people are threatened by your competence. They see you as being aloof and trying to show them up. So they have to do things to bring you down to their level, including getting you fired.

For me, quitting was the best possible thing I could have done. I was in panic-mode for a while but in my next job, my boss actually appreciated my strong work ethic and encouraged me to do things on my own initiative. There were no social games. I was not expected to ‘participate’ in everything.

The most important thing for you to do is find a job where you are valued for who you are. Some people are going to value your skills and other people are not. You need to keep looking until you find the people who get you, because they ARE out there. Don’t feel like you have to be stuck with the status quo.

2 points·8 hours ago

I left my last job over something kind of similar. I’d been there for over a year and was next in line in seniority to take over the “Senior Staff” position when the old one left. Instead, they reached out to an employee who had quit a few months before and hired her back.

When they broke it to me, they said their reason was that I’m “too nervous” when talking to people (which has been a thing for me my whole life), even though they’d never once indicated it was a problem before that. I went home immediately that day so I didn’t have a meltdown and handed in my two weeks the day I returned. The employee they gave the position to ended up quitting again within like two months and I got a better job with much better hours and benefits.

I know it’s not exactly the same, but I guess my point is that it could open up the doors for a much better job for you that you’d be more comfortable at. I also think you’d have a very strong case for unemployment, so definitely look into that.

2 points·2 hours ago

Similar thing happened to me too, op.

I left a job that I had for two years to go work at another place. The new, “better” job was a disaster. It was a local small business, and it was single handedly the most disorganized place I’ve ever worked.

They had a whole long list of customers who supposedly hadn’t paid them, which they made me call almost daily to try and get payment. Well I had gotten through my list one day and there was no other work, so I decided to start organizing their filing cabinet. Lo and behold, I found receipts of payment from nearly half of the customers on their list – some from over a year prior.

After that, there was almost no work for me to do. I would get my duties done within my first hour or so of work, and then be sitting by myself at a desk in a supplies room for the other seven. I passed my time by browsing the internet and such, and other employees (whose jobs had absolutely NOTHING to do with mine btw) got mad/jealous and reported me.

I got fired after only two months of working there – for “being lazy”. All while the only other girl I worked with never got anything done, shopped for cars online all day, and would go on rides to “pick up lunch” while still on the clock. Her cousin was our manager though. 🙂

Anyways, I just basically wanted you to know that things will get better from here. It took me six months, but I finally found another job, and a way better one too. By a long shot. My year anniversary with this company is next week, and they could not be more amazing to work for.

I feel that you’re in store for something similar. My advice is to try not to take this to heart like I did. It sounds like we both just worked for idiots. I felt really bad about myself after my termination (still do sometimes), but I’ve been promoted twice already at my new job, and they encourage me every step of the way. I’m told constantly now that I’m a great worker, and that they appreciate me.

Things will be okay. You will find a company soon who truly values you and all of your strengths. Keep your head held high. 🙂

I apologize. I know that was quite a bit to read but the sad part is this only just a small tip of a huge iceberg that I feel isn’t being addressed. Some of the issues are that it’s tough to ‘prove’ their has been discrimination by the employer based on the disability. If there is proof, very few lawyers don’t like trying to take on these cases. We have a right to work a job, to live a life! Yes, I did write a book about my own experience that all of these other people went through themselves. My aim here is not to simply sell more books…my aim to get the word out!!! No one seems to want to listen to us! And others don’t believe this is really happening. I’ve decided to come up with a hashtag acronym that needs to be shared to as many social media networks as possible. FOR CRYING OUT LOUD, NEXT MONTH IS AUTISM AWARENESS MONTH AND NO ONE SEEMS TO BE PAYING ATTENTION!!!

#BACKSTABBullied Autistic Citizens Knowingly Seek Tolerance Amid Bosses.

I will tell you that my Weirdo 2.0 ebook will be on sale starting March 26th and wrapping up on April 2nd, just in time for World Autism Awareness Day. This will be available in US and UK. https://read.amazon.com/kp/embed?asin=B083G1P5B3&preview=newtab&linkCode=kpe&ref_=cm_sw_r_kb_dp_FBwCEb8A9MCWH&tag=mobile0663b9c-20

I will be happy to read any and everyone’s stories. If you want, I can organize everyone’s stories into a book with you getting complete credit for the material.

The World only exists in your Eyes…

The full says to my title is – “The World only exists in your Eyes. You can make it as big or as small as you want.” I love this saying for really, anyone. Those of us with Asperger’s, this should be a great reminder of how our life needs to be! Yes, our view of the world is different than other people who don’t have our condition but, we shouldn’t be shunned or closed off because of our view of the world. We have our own freewill, do not let anyone else tell you other wise! Bullies favorite thing to do is to dictate how you need to see the world. This is that form of control that makes me angry at people who try to pull this stupid stunt. Growing up, I lived my life with one bully or another telling me, what I should do and how to do it. The only time you should ever listen to anyone about the view of the world are those people who deeply love you the way you are. What those people will do is, kind of like Aladdin, show you a new wonderful world of possibilities. That’s not pushing you down, that’s opening you up. That opening is healthy for all of us. My wife has been doing that with me and I’ve been so grateful for her love that she shows me.

Of course make the world the way you see it, there is nothing wrong with that. Just be willing to let loved ones open your mind to new experiences, places, things. Fear is going to be the one thing that is going to hold you back, that is what bullies use, don’t let it get the best of you. It’s YOUR life, not theirs so live it and let nothing hold you back!

The most beautiful places in the world

Person of the Year 2019

Standing in a rather long line in Wal-Mart, I glanced over and saw the Time Magazine cover of the person of the year. The magazine had the young lady, Greta Thunberg from the country of Stockholm, Sweden as their person. The funny part was the people behind me started making comments about Time’s selection. “Greta?” they would question. “Who the hell is that?” They would examine the magazine a little more then respond, “Global warming?” to the people behind me this didn’t make sense, “How did a little girl get on the cover for not doin’ anything important?” they would then give their final judgment, “Time magazine had lost their minds.”

First what they didn’t understand was this ‘little girl’ was only 16 years old. Yes, she is known for her stand on global warming. She would stand outside of the parliament building with others protesting the climate. How important is she…well if you get the attention of the President of the United States, then you’ve done something, here’s Trump’s comment on Twitter:


Donald J. Trump@realDonaldTrump
So ridiculous. Greta must work on her Anger Management problem, then go to a good old fashioned movie with a friend! Chill Greta, Chill!

Greta was asked to speak in front of the members of the United Nations. She’s been speaking in front of several different organizations including the Pope! One rather interesting feature about Greta is that she has Asperger’s. Her father wasn’t very supportive at first about his daughter’s activism but, he noticed that this was pulling her out of her depression. This is what she had to say about her autism: “It makes you different and makes you think differently,” she said. “Especially in a big crisis like this one [climate change], we need to think outside the box, we need to think outside our current system, we need people who think outside the box and who aren’t like everyone else.”

I’ll go onto Reddit and read the posts from the Asperger sub-Reddit with people divided on their own thoughts about this condition. I try to encourage those who are down about themselves when they shouldn’t be. I like to think that Greta is a great example of a person who is in the world public spotlight and just takes it in stride. You almost have to. Well, I say congratulations to the Person of the Year, Greta Thunberg. I hope not only does she continue her campaign with global warming but, also be another voice for those of us who have Asperger’s Syndrome.

Thousands Of Americans Across The Country Participate In Global Climate Strike

The Books are Coming!

I’ve finally published the first free book so I could have people swap out their emails for a free book – Problem – I’m having a hard time getting this set up without blowing the bank. As a teacher, we really don’t make a lot of money, so I’m doing my best with the very limited budget I get to work with. The great news is that I got the edits back from my editor with the main book I will be publishing here in the future. In the meantime, I’m trying to get the free book out so I can then tell everyone about the new book and when it’s ready to hit store shelves (so to speak). I even have a Companion book with the main book about ready as well so I’m nearly there. The early responses to the main book have been outstanding. I can’t wait to get this to print, but I want to make sure this book is completely clean and ready to go.

I’ll try to let everyone know if I’m finally able to get the email marketing thing together. The title of the free book is “Be An Autism Avenger”. It’s not on Kindle yet, but that will probably change soon. I apologize and I hope to get my act together soon! HERE’S THE LINK!!! Get the free book! https://claims.prolificworks.com/free/Y7vxrvzb

Intelligence and Wisdom

“Wisdom speaks the right words, at the right time, from the right person, in the right way.”

This was a quote that was used in a sermon at my church several Sunday’s ago. I think why I felt compelled to write about this is because it as a lot to say. It’s already known that many people with high functioning Asperger’s tend to show signs of high intelligence. I know this is not true for everyone, and remember we are not all savants. My age is pushing up there, but I believe my level of wisdom as increased as well. I will state that there might be a lot of smart people, but not all of them are wise. So enters my opening quote because there are several elements in play. If you read it correctly, the quote is describing words, time, person, and way. Not just any kind, but the ‘right’ kind. So the question is – What is right? Simply put, the right is anything that that offers sound, helpful information.

The information could be anything from an excellent suggestion of some course of action, an affirmation for encouragement, a reaffirming idea that you’re doing the right thing. It could be any number of good ideas or thoughts that would benefit you. There might even be a time when this actually happened. I imagine, there were times when it sounded good, but ended up being a terrible mistake. I believe the only way to know is your use of good judgement. You maybe right or maybe wrong. This has happened to me on a number of occasions. Right now, I’m learning the process of self-publishing and I’m trying to get as much information as I possibly can. Try to keep this in mind as you live your life. It never hurts to question any opinion or advice you might receive. I know I find myself doing this about every single day.

PANIC ATTACK!!!

I learned something new after like my third trip to the hospital this year (2019), I suffer from panic attacks. I think what frustrated me the most was I visited at least 3 different doctors trying to figure out what was going on with me. My heart rate and pulse would climb. I would get tingling in my fingers. I would feel disoriented. A warm feeling would race up and down my body. I would feel nauseous. There was no trigger for these episodes I was having because they would happen at different times of the day and not on every day. This was driving nuts on what was going on. When I went into the hospital early in the year, I had several blood tests, a CT scan, a sonogram, a brain scan with a weird mesh head cap. When I finally left, they told me that my potassium level was low and I was ‘stressing out’. I had a colonoscopy done were they did find 4 polyps. I met with an endocrinologist, but everything came back fine. When I had my most recent attack and [I hope] my final trip to the hospital. The emergency room doctor and my wife told me straight out…you have panic attacks. I did feel rather stupid especially after I went home and looked up panic attacks on Web MD:

What Are Panic Attacks?
It’s dramatic. Your heart begins to pound and you hyperventilate, sweat, and tremble. You fear you’re having a heart attack or something equally serious. Then, 10 minutes or so later, it’s gone.

What just happened?

You had a panic attack.

They’re fairly common, usually beginning between ages 15 and 25. If they keep coming back, you have a persistent fear of more attacks, or you change your behavior significantly because of them, you have something called panic disorder. Nearly one in 20 adults have it, and women are twice as likely as men to get it.

Many people with panic disorder relate an attack to what they were doing when it happened. They may think the restaurant, elevator, or classroom caused the attack. Then they’ll avoid those places. That may lead to something called agoraphobia — the fear of leaving home or being in public places.

Causes
What brings on panic attacks and panic disorder isn’t clear. Some researchers believe panic disorder may come from an oversensitivity to carbon dioxide, which makes your brain think you’re suffocating. There’s also an association between panic attacks and phobias, like school phobia or claustrophobia.

Some believe there are ties between panic attacks and:

Depression
Alcohol abuse
Cigarette smoking
Suicide risk
Seasonal affective disorder, a type of depression that happens in winter.

Panic disorder may start after:

A serious illness or accident
The death of a close friend
Separation from family
The birth of a baby
Attacks may come after the use of mind-altering drugs. Most often, however, they come “out of the blue.” One may even begin while you’re sleeping.

Some medications can cause panic attacks, including some antidepressants.

If you’re 40 or older and have panic disorder, you may have depression or another hidden medical condition. Talk to your doctor to find out what’s going on.

Symptoms
Usually, a panic attack comes with a few of these:

A sense of approaching danger
Quick, intense, heartbeat
Nausea
Chills
Cramps in your belly
Headache
Numbness or tingling
Shortness of breath
Throat tightness
Trembling
Hot flashes
A feeling that you’re apart from reality
If you feel like you’re having a panic attack, see you doctor right away. While they are not dangerous, they can get worse without treatment.

Symptoms of a panic attack are similar to those for more serious conditions. If you’re not sure if what you’re having is a panic attack, call your doctor, just to be safe.

The Autistic Club?

There is a wonderful article in Psychology Today that is written by John Elder Robinson. In his article, he puts a slightly different perspective on labels for our neurological condition. John offers the idea that instead of being labelled with autism or ADHD that we could be a community of Neurodiversity people. I will say that he does point out how diversity is good and bad. To me, I guess it depends on what do you want? To say that I have Asperger’s Syndrome was good because the diagnose finally explained why I was acting the way I was and why I had trouble in all parts of my life. Just for myself, I don’t ‘feel’ alone in my condition. I know I have it and I do my best to live my life being more aware of this diagnose. I like to help other people who are going through the issues I had, but I don’t feel the need to be a part of this ‘Neurodiversity’ community. I just want to be a part of a community with people of all sorts of things they may be dealing with. I realize when or if people find out I have this condition one of a few things tend to happen. 1. They don’t believe I am autistic. 2. They notice my quirkiness and try to stay away from me. 3. They except the difference and try to help if there was something I might have done and let me know about it. I know to feel accepted, we want to compartmentalize ourselves to give us an identity. I remember back in high school; kids would always try to do this even if we didn’t agree with the label. The jock, nerds, art crew, the goths, losers, bad boys-girls, etc. If you feel like putting yourself into a category, then go right ahead. I guess you have to ask what do want if you place yourself in this position? I realize this is a little cliché, but variety is the spice of life. For me, I try to help folks because growing up with this condition, but never really knowing what was going on, why was I bullied a lot? I believe the article is really compelling and thought provoking. I say you be you. Embrace what God has created in you. I invite you to join the Human Race, it’s an interesting club. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/my-life-aspergers/201906/the-convergence-neurodiversity-and-autism
Image result for autism club

PRIDE, PTSD and AUTISM…oh my!

I completely realize that June is the official month of PTSD awareness and PRIDE celebration. I’m glad to see that these two important things in our society are getting their just dues. I’m not here to knock the PRIDE people or the PTSD folks, my beef is with my own cause…Autism. We’re now more than half way through the month and this really feels like a TRUE month long party or ‘active’ educating the public on these causes. So my question is…what the hell happened to Autism Awareness month back in April?!!!!! I’ve noticed each year, this gets less and less attention. The month starts out great with the international day of autism, but after that the flame goes out and the meager smoke snakes its way in the air. It’s not like we have just have a few organizations. Unless there is a renewed story line about the absurdity of immunizations causing autism in children again, we get put back on the shelf until next year.

If we really want to change and create a stronger voice then we need to look at the Pride folks. I have to give them all the credit in the world, they know how to get a message across and hold it all the way through the entire month! They have parades, guest speakers, news stories with educational material, flags, and lots of merchandise. Twitter, Facebook, Instagram and many other social media sites pour out all kinds of Pride and PTSD information and affirmations. The bottom line is we need to do better. I’m not sure if we’re fighting hard enough or many in main stream media tend to ignore us after awhile. Are we afraid to come out of our own closet? Listen, the bullying at work or anywhere else will not stop until people understand our condition. The public needs to be educated on us and our disability. I just feel like our cause has lost a lot of its steam. The only thing that seems to stick out are charitable run/walkathons for autism. That’s great we do this, but it just doesn’t seem enough. Again, I believe we need to steal a page from the Pride group and fly those flags, have all of that memorabilia stuff on, have those parades; get famous people who have our condition to step forward and talk to the people like the Temple Grandin’s, Darryl Hannah’s, Dan Aykroyd’s! We’re getting a bad wrap and our situation is getting worse. Health care, Life Insurance, the Job Market, are just a few examples were we are losing the battle. We need to better plan and execute OUR time of the month!

PRIDE MONTH!!!

Image result for pride

PTSD MONTH!!!

Image result for ptsd awareness ribbon